I'm not saying, just saying....

Apparently my hemorrhoid was the source of strength for the two football teams I follow.

Record of the Penn State Nittany Lions and the San Fransisco 49ers before removal of hemorrhoid:

5 wins and 0 losses

Record of both teams after removal:

o wins and 4 losses.

Odd....very odd.....

What I Said at My Granddaughter's Funeral

By John Piper

Link to Website

I had the privilege of sitting with my family while Tom Steller and Sam Crabtree ministered to us at the funeral of Felicity Margaret Piper who was stillborn at full term on September 22, 2007. Her father Abraham asked me to speak for five minutes on “A Granddaddy’s Thoughts.” Here is what I said.

I didn’t know Felicity Margaret. My experience of her life was entirely through other people for nine months. And my experience of her death, even though it was physically immediate and touchable, has been emotionally experienced almost entirely through other people.

So at this moment, what it means for me to be Felicity’s grandfather is that I am living this loss almost entirely through other people’s experience of this loss. And because of my love for all these people, there is a powerful sweetness in this pain.

Being Felicity’s grandfather means that I have tasted her loss through my daughters-in-law, her aunts Shelly, Melissa, and Lesley. The measure of her worth and the greatness of her loss have been written on your faces, and they are the more beautiful for it.

Being Felicity’s grandfather means that I have felt her loss in the shattered expectation of her aunt Talitha, my daughter. It was not easy to go to school on Monday. But you and Mommy made a good plan with the school counselor to inform the teachers and students. And now, in a way you never expected, your heart is knit together with Dasia whose little brother Zach was killed by the dog a month ago.

Being Felicity’s grandfather means that I have felt her loss through her uncles and my sons Karsten, Benjamin, and Barnabas. I broke the news to each of you and watched all your plans change. You are good brothers to each other. And I cannot tell you how much I love the tears and embraces of strong men.

Being Felicity’s grandfather means that I have felt her loss through her grandmother, my wife Noël. Strange and wonderful. Your tears came slowly and have increased. Mine came quickly and have decreased. Almost the story of our lives. Thank you for knitting Felicity’s blanket, and weeping as you decided to give it to her anyway.

Being Felicity’s grandfather means that I have felt the loss through her mother, my daughter-in-law Molly. For her entire life she depended on you more than anyone. You fed her, you cleansed her, you supported her, you protected her, you knew her better than anyone. The grace that God has given you to love her greatly and let her go is amazing. Christ is on display in your life.

Being Felicity’s grandfather means that I have felt the loss through her father, my son Abraham. The words from Saturday morning’s phone call are cut into my heart, “Daddy, we lost the baby.” Nothing, Abraham, has gone deeper inside of me than your loss.

Being Felicity’s grandfather means that I have felt the loss through her great grandfather, my father Bill Piper. And this experience is totally different from all the others. In this case, the loss is all gain. My father died six months and sixteen days before Felicity did. I believe the blood and righteousness of Jesus Christ covers the sins of all who trust him and all who are not old enough to trust him here but will trust him later.

Therefore, I believe Felicity and her great grandfather met each other early Sunday morning in the presence of Christ. And my father said, perhaps, “Hello, Felicity. I’m your great grandfather Piper. Come, there is somebody I want you to meet. His name is Jesus. He’s the reason you’re here. You don’t need to be afraid. Your Savior has led you all the way. And Jesus does all things well.”

Pretty Funny

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Funny Stuff

Fantastic Rant

Just a bit of background here. The Quarterback for the Oklahoma State football team was demoted to backup since things were not working well. A member of the media wrote some not nice things about the quarterback in an article about the team. The coach got mad since since his players are amateur players and called a press conference.

I think what the coach does is fantastic. Many of these guys look to the coach as a father figure since, sadly, they didn't have one growing up and this guy is defending his guy. He even talks about his players as if they are his children. Anyway, I applaud this guy for doing what he did, maybe he could have done it differently, but it will hopefully remind the next writer about to write mean things about a college player that they are indeed amateurs and they do need to be treated differently.

Listen at the end for the applause from the people as he leaves. I'm not the only one who agrees with the coach.

Of Hemorrhoids and Heart Palpitations

I went poo! I went poo! The Lord does answer prayer!



.........uhhhhh........



Maybe I should start at the beginning......

I hadn't been to the doctor in years as of mid August 2007. My wife had wanted me to go get a family doctor all set up in case something happened, which is a good idea, it just wasn't working out for me.

Then, one day, I had a literal pain in the butt. We were a little nervous until we found out it was merely an extremely painful external hemorrhoid. Looks like it is definitely time to go to the doctor now. And I say "merely" since the first thought that jumps into everyone's head when there is a lump is cancer. Those who suffer from these awful afflictions know there is nothing "mere" about them.

So I go to the doctor and get some medicine prescribed. Some really fun medicine that you have to shove into your rear and make you feel like crap. They turn all gooey and, just to be perfectly honest about this, if you have to release gas you feel like you might have just crapped your pants.

Anyway, the medicine wasn't working and it made me feel lousy. But at least I could still go to the gym and exercise. I like to play racquetball, its a good workout and fun which is really quite amazing since most things that are good for you are rather boring.

Last Monday when I left the gym my heart started racing and beating VERY hard. I could see my shirt moving from the force of my heart pounding. I was sure that it would just explode at any moment. I sat in my car and waited for it to slow down but it didn't. I remember praying, "Lord, I don't really want to die in this parking lot."

I figured I should call 911 and I got my phone out, but then the accounting side of me took over and I figured I would just drive. If it didn't stop by the time I reached the hospital I would go in.

It didn't.

As soon as I told the nurse what was going on they grabbed me a wheelchair and wheeled me into the back. They asked me the heart attack questions which I must have answered correctly since they then decided to ignore me.

The pounding stopped.

It was so sudden that I was worried my heart had just stopped working. After having it pound that hard for 20 minutes I wasn't used to it not being so noticeable. I started thinking that since I hadn't been checked in yet they couldn't bill me. So I got up and told them I was leaving. I figured if it was something serious they would have had a doctor over to see me by now...and really, it was the Pekin hospital, chances were that they would kill me trying to treat me anyway.

So I went back to the doctor and had an EKG done, of course everything was normal. We also scheduled a time to see a surgeon about my other issue, one that wasn't so life threatening but still rather painful.

I went to the butt surgeon on Thursday and he decided just to remove it in his office that day. Nothing is quite as humbling as kneeling on a table with three people looking at your rear. I need to start sun tanning nude.

He walked up in front and said to me, "I'm not going to lie, the shot is going to hurt."

It did.

He showed me the removed hemorrhoid, if was nasty looking. But I felt great....until the anesthetic wore off. Fortunately my boss and my wife had convinced me to go home since they figured I would start hurting badly soon.

It is almost comical now. I was whimpering in pain on Thursday night each time I had to pass gas. I was doped up on pain medicine, drinking Metamucil and taking stool softeners.

In the midst of this week of facing death in a parking lot and having a large pain in the rear, just to prove that God does indeed have a sense of humor I had a filling crack and had to have it replaced.

This was done Thursday morning so by the time my face un-numbed I was getting my butt numbed. Growing older is fun!

On Friday I used the Sitz Bath I had been told to get by the doctors. Anytime you have to add an attachment to your toilet you know that you are definitely not ever going to be on 90210, your coolness days are over.

The pain had made me constipated too. even with the Metamucil and stool softeners. I was getting worried and not feeling all that great.

This morning I woke up prayed:

"Lord, you are so powerful and can do anything, I would really like to be able to go to the bathroom, could you let that happen?"

Really now, what a great God we have that we can ask for anything. I doubt that a Muslim ever prayed that prayer, he is probably worried he will have one of his 70 raisins taken away.

So, about an hour ago I went to the bathroom, causing me much joy, so much so that I had to come here and type this whole story out...while sitting gingerly on a donut.

Was There a Second Matrix Movie?

I know only one person will care that I put this back up, but here it is:

The only good part of the Matrix Reloaded

Yeah, this was taken on my phone so sorry for the quality.

In Christ Alone

We sing this song at church sometimes, not often enough for my tastes though. I meant to post this at Easter when we first sang it but I couldn't remember enough of it to Google the lyrics. Imagine my surprise when I discovered it is a Newsboys song. Anyway, here is the song with the lyrics below. It sums up the wonderful Gospel better than I imagined possible in a song.




Newsboys - In Christ Alone Lyrics


In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

More to come....

Geico has a new ad campaign going. As more of them get posted to youtube.com I'll post them here.

Sports Weekend

Penn State throttled Notre Dame, Michigan got embarrassed at home for the second week in a row and Chicago lost. All that is need is a 49er victory to make this a perfect sports weekend.

It amuses me, and really fits my personality, that there are fewer teams that I root for to do well than there are teams that I hope fail miserably.

It makes sense since there are also more people I root for to fail than people I hope succeed. Crazy how that works.

10 Qualities of a Christian Gentleman

It was with great excitement that I clicked this link I found at another blog. I couldn't wait to see what issues the author was going to tackle. Instead I found one of the most moronic lists ever created since the Top 10 Bowel Movements of All Time list.

Here it is. Out of the 10 points the author states only a few didn't make me want to puke in a bucket due to the idiocy displayed therein...as such.

At least he got Punctual and Chivalrous correct. I like how in his list he appears to use the least amount of Scripture as possible to make his case for each point. Out of 10 points he has 3 verses....and this is meant to be a Christian guide to life.

Maybe I should be gentler, his heart is in the right place. And there are issues that need to be addressed.

People "wearing khaki cargo shorts, a t-shirt, flip-flops and some kind of surfer necklace to every occasion in life" is definitely an issue. And people who are not on time make me want to beat my (or their) head into a wall. And really, we spend far too much time absorbed in ourselves and not thinking about others (the opposite of chivalry).....maybe i agree with this guy more than I think....

Eh...the list is still dumb overall.

Let me just explain my biggest issue with the list. His assumption that in order to be a gentleman you have to:

1) Be well educated
2) Be able to converse intelligently on many subjects
3) Dress nicely

Pretty much this means that in the country of Darfur right now there are no gentlemen. This is such a Western assumption that stupid hick Southerners are not real gentlemen since they dropped out of school in 10th grade. The list seems more like the author:

A) Preaching to some sort of choir
B) Being a preening shmoe looking in a mirror wanting to make his Master's Degree in Geography worth something and the fact that he can converse on the ins and outs of banana exports in Ghandi.

Awesome Podcast

For Penn State fans. And probably for those not Penn State fans too. I've meant to add this to my links but I keep forgetting too.

It is two ex-players chatting about last week's game and the upcoming schedule for the Nittany Lions. One of the podcasts I look forward to every wekk.

http://psupodcast.blogspot.com/

Blast from the Past - Chubb Chubb Style

Only good part about Men In Black II - aside from when it finally ended.

Be sure to watch until after the credits for a slightly amusing moment that was still funnier than The Wild Wild West.

Favorite Song of the Moment

Remember that if you like this song you can always purchase the CD!

What a Day

It is not yet 3:00 and my day is complete.

Penn State won and Michigan lost. I really don't see how it can get better than this.

This is for Matilda (A Michael Vick Wrap-Up)

Let me just clear a few things here, firstly to Anonymous who posted:

"Just shut up...People are tired of hearing you Michael Vick apologists. He did it, he is a cruel sadistic animal, face it, live with it, and watch him go to jail--"

The reason I called him a "complete and utter fool" was due to the fact that he obviously didn't actually read the article I linked to. I'm not defending Michael Vick, what I am saying is that the punishment he receives for this crime is ridiculous when compared to the punishments for other crimes committed.

I am going to agree with Ms. Barb though in that comparing the Ray Lewis case and the Michael Vick case might not work out the best due to the circumstances.

But let's take a closer look at what occurred.

Michael Vick killed 8 dogs and caused many others to be abused. In the same time frame that he killed 8 dogs starting in 2002, in that same time period it is estimate by the CDC that far more than 5,000,000 babies were murdered.

When Michael Vick stands before God, next to an abortion doctor who most definitely hindered the children from coming to Jesus, I suspect that the wrath of God will be much more kindled against a man who slaughtered thousands of helpless children rather than a guy who killed 8 dogs.

Mike Tyson roams the streets a free man, he is in some comedy skits and he even tried a boxing comeback after being in jail for seven years. His crime? He raped a young woman. He destroyed her life and for that got seven years in jail and now is regarded as a clownish figure. It is hard for me to compare the rape of a woman and the killing of a dog and say that it makes sense that Tyson got seven years and the max Michael Vick could get is six years.

How did our priorities get so screwed up that the head of Enron is the devil to some people, meanwhile since 1990 more children have been murdered in the U.S. than Stalin and Hitler killed combined during their reigns of terror.

We let rapists walk the streets, child molesters given third and fourth chances, murdering "doctors" are hailed as heroes by some, yet let's all pile on Michael Vick who killed a dog.

Our culture is so messed up, we mock the Egyptians for worshiping cats as gods, yet what are we doing here? Are we not placing a higher value on the life of a dog than the life of a human? How messed up is it that killing a dog inhumanely brings jail time while killing a baby brings a paycheck?

One thing of hope to leave on, in 2 Chronicles God speaks to Solomon and says this:

"if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land."

We don't need the anti-life abortion Nazis to repent for our land to be healed, merely the Church does. We can sway the direction of this country by rooting out sin in our own lives and demanding righteousness from our leaders. If we all focused more on God and less on ourselves maybe some of these issues plaguing and destroying this nation will be healed.

Or we could just keep going the way we are going and hope that God's wrath won't fall on us in our lifetime, kinda sucks for the children though...at least the ones who make it to birth.