I recently re-read a series that she used to read to us when we were younger, I could hear her doing the various voices for the characters in my head.
July 19th, 2003 was such a long day. I don’t remember all of it even, but there are things engraved into my mind.
My grandmother saying, “I don’t want to lose another daughter!”
“Well, that’s it then,” my father said before he collapsed in tears.
I remember squeezing my mother’s cold hand, hoping that if I could warm it up she would somehow wake up again.
“It is never a good time to lose a parent,” stated the note my mother had written my uncle, but hadn’t had a chance to mail yet.
My second youngest sister and her family coming back into the hospital tears streaming down her face asking, “What happened?”
At that moment I realized that none of us had wanted to believe that she was actually leaving us.
One of the strange things was that the last time I saw her alive was actually in New Jersey of all places. We were celebrating my aunt’s wedding so the whole family was out there. We were swimming in my grandfather’s pool and Mom joined us, just like she had for all those years when we were growing up.
My parents were always involved in our lives, that is what made them such great parents.
I remember being in the pool, my mother had gotten out and she and Dad came back out to say good night. We were all heading back to Pennsylvania the next day so we all wanted to make sure to say our “Love Yous” and “Have a safe trips.”
How is that for your last memory of your mother, in a swimming pool in New Jersey. Proof that there is a God and He has a sense of humor.
5 comments:
I'm glad you wrote this. I've been having a hard time this Mother's day, too, for some reason. Somehow it's helpful knowing that I'm not the only one.
What books were you reading that she used to read to us? I've been reading the Prydain Chronicles and thinking about how she used to do Gurgi's voice.
This year, I'm doing okay. At least for now, I suppose.
Last year, though...last year was hard.
I don't remember if I ever shared this with either of you. I have a copy of the obituary which I had hung up in my cubicle, with some pictures and whatnot. One day, I happened to see the part that goes through all her children, and it listed me as being from Peoria. In that moment, for just a moment, I felt this stab of guilt. Like, somehow, because I wasn't in Peoria, I had let Mom down.
Makes no rational sense, but there you go.
The Prydain Chronicle's are indeed what I just read :)
Crunchings and Munchings!!
For some reason Mother's Day hasn't ever been a problem for me. I could never remember it when Mom was alive so I don't see any reason I have to remember it now that she's gone. But there's this house a couple blocks away. The front yard is full of roses. I walk down there and watch the roses bloom and I think of Mom. One time I actually went up to the door and told the woman I loved her roses. It felt like something Mom would have done. Every time I walk past that house and those roses I think about Mom.
Crunchings and Munchings and Gurgi's poor tender head!
Jonathan, what a beautiful post in memory of your mom! She was a beautiful person! We think of her a lot! She also had a beautiful family! Love,Sally D.
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