As many of you know Wife #1 has bad back problems. We have gone to many different doctors to little or no avail. One option we thought of was to buy a better mattress. The best mattress even! A Sleepnumber Bed! Well, at least a knock-off.
We received the mattress on the 13th of February and I immediately put it together. Yes, you read that correctly, you have to put the mattress together. It took me an hour or so, plus I had to move the old king sized mattress off the bed and to another room by myself. It was all rather tiring.
Of course, as we could all foresee, the pump to inflate the air chambers was broken. I then had to move partially put together mattress to another room and muscle the old mattress back on the bed.
The new pump arrived on Thursday, so again I muscled the old mattress off the bed and got the new one put together. The pump worked! Our bed was ready to be slept on! What a wonderful day!
Friday Morning
I awaken with a stiff back. Dumb me, I had the mattress too soft, I just need to inflate it more.
Saturday Morning
Again, an aching back, I will have to remember to inflate it more so I get some support for my back.
Sunday Morning
I must have slept for too long since my back is really hurting; maybe I still have it too soft?
Monday Morning
I can barely get out of bed. I am in so much pain, of course I can’t really complain about it to Wife #1, I think the bed is helping her back feel better. I just need to figure out how to come up with an excuse to sleep on something else other than this, a bed of nails would feel better.
Monday Evening
Wife #1 finds out I hate the bed. I find out that she isn’t all that fond of it either. I take it apart and pack it up. This is awful. The boxes are too small for this thing to fit into, unless I really compress the parts, so I end up kneeling on a roll of foam tying a phone cord around it so that it won’t burst the box open anymore than it already has.
Final cost for this wonderbed? $150 to have it shipped to us, $150 to have it shipped back to them. The lady at the company was very nice and told us that we shouldn’t have to pay any restocking fee, which would have been around $200. And my back is still recovering from sleeping on it for four nights.
I was talking to a chum at work who had recently purchased a new driver (a golf club). As any married golfer knows when you want to get a golf club, you need to have an ace up your sleeve. He had agreed that his wife could purchase a new piano with most of their tax refund…..
CHA-CHING!!
New golf club baby!!
I can now hold this over Wife #1 so next time I want a golf club all I have to do is refer to the mattress from hell, the money spent on it, the pain it caused me, and the amount of time I spent putting it together TWICE, and taking it apart TWICE. In others words….
CH-CHING!
4 comments:
i was hoping the mattress would get concrete slippers in the bottom of the illinois river, under cover of darkness.
when we lived in our tiny greenville apartment some people we know offered their "slightly used" (or so they said) king bed to us. we said we'd come by and look at it sometime. somehow they didn't understand our veiled interest and sent the mattress with their son (who was conveniently on his way out of town with his truck). he stuck it in our kitchen, propped up against the wall by the door. the thing was nasty with not-so mysterious marks all over it. we were too depressed to eat and just kept the kitchen door closed, sitting on the couch feeling hungry and angry. we borrowed a truck and tried to find someone to take it. we drove around town with the nastiest mattress on the planet in the bed of a really cool guy's really cool truck. charity organizations laughed at us and shook their heads. we wanted to throw it anywhere but felt too guilty. we brought it home and stuck it behind the landlord's (who was out of town) shed. it rained for days after that. the mattress, who now weighed five hundred pounds, looked cleaner but was not.
hooray for the greenville sanitation system! they haul mattresses away with the ordinary trash at the curb!!! we dragged the thing to the street and watched the trash men give the house dirty looks as they crammed it into the machine.
all that to say, our backs were hurting, too, from the mattress fiasco, and we didn't even sleep on the thing.
Thank you for sharing that story. :) Why do the best stories all seem to take place in your first apartment you get after you are married and broke?
Anyway, that picture was changed on me since the link got changed...I really didn't mean for it to be a smoking baby, I will switch it to something else immediately :)
I hope that you and your new golf club will make a happy couple.
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