There is a guy I work with here, his three-year-old daughter died last night. She was very ill, but this was unexpected.
I don’t know the details, but they don’t really matter. What I do know is that he will hear ten thousand times that God is good, and this is all according to His plan, and words like that. The big question is though, why will he hear the same thing from so many different people?
It is because we want to help, we want to help ease his sorrow and suffering, so we remind him of God’s promises, which is good, but he won’t be hearing that from me. Dealing with all the effects from Wife #1’s back problems has made me grow weary of hearing constantly that everything is going according to God’s plan. But why say the same thing over and over and over? I don’t need to hear this from person after person in a half hour span.
It is because we want to say the right thing to help, yet what we really need to do is shut up and listen. In most cases we don’t have the right words, if they sound trite to your ears I guarantee you they are sounding trite to his. What someone who is suffering needs sometimes is just to be listened to. That is becoming a rare thing these days; someone who can listen and not throw his two cents in, it is something that I try to work on myself.
So when he gets back, I will ask him how he is, how his wife is and if there is anything I can do to help. I know many others will say the same things, but I am going to try really hard to actually listen to his answers, that is what is needed most more often than not.
Side thought:
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