The Crazy Christian and the Left-Wing Looney - A Story of Friendship

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck

Lewis and Clark

Ben and Jerry

F. Scott Fitzgerald and Earnest Hemingway

Brutus and Sparrow

Jonathan and Jeff.

Friendship is weird.

Way back in 1993 when some pimply faced new kid in school with slicked back hair and a chubby, shy kid with a terrible hair cut first met, no one had any idea that they would still be friends over seventeen years later.

In fact, no one had any thought that they would be such good, close friends that people would think of them like a married couple.

We lived at each other’s houses and knew each other’s parents so well that we got the birds and bees talk from two sources.

People would come up to me and say, “Hey man, Sparrow owes me five bucks. We both know he is never going to pay me back, but he will pay YOU back, so why don’t you give me the money and you can get it from him.”

For a friendship to last this long you have to be willing to talk about issues, since when you are as close as we were and spent as much time together as we did, you are bound to get into arguments. Dumb ones mostly. Like how it was impossible that I couldn’t like a song that Jeff loved so much. We argued about that for almost two hours I think. Worst part was that it was a Goo Goo Dolls song.

There was one time we got in a fight about something moronic and didn’t see each other for two weeks. Kevin had to drive out to North East to pick Jeff up so we could “hug it out”. By the time the two weeks had passed we had no recollection about what the argument was anyway. Might have been Matchbox 20.

We are on such opposite sides of so many issues, religion, politics, alcohol (he doesn’t like beer), and other vital issues. However we manage to put that all aside, even the fact that he know that I really want him to think like I do on religion. I am amazed by how many friendships are destroyed by politics or religion….or alcohol. In regards to politics, we are all being screwed by our politicians so why fight about it? And religion? What good does it do me or him if I chase away a friend by harping on it? He knows my thoughts and feelings on the matter, one day he will realize I’m right. :)

So in closing, Jeff, I love you, although not in a move to Massachusetts kind of way, I can’t think of anyone else I would rather be practically strip-searched and kicked out of Canada with.