You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

"I certainly hope that Hillary is the candidate," Reverend Jerry Falwell said at a breakfast session Friday in Washington. "I hope she's the candidate, because nothing will energize my (constituency) like Hillary Clinton," he said. "If Lucifer ran, he wouldn't."

Clinton press secretary Philippe Reines said Sunday, "Working for someone who believes in the Golden Rule, we're not going to engage in such vitriolic discourse -- but it seems that a new low has been reached in demonizing political opponents."

Get it? Demonizing?

One thing I don't get, the whole "believes in the Golden Rule" thing. Does that mean that Mrs. Clinton wants to be murdered over a scam land deal too?

The I.R.S. is Run and Staffed by Over-Paid Monkeys

Here is some evidence for you.

Here is some more proof that we can cut taxes and decrease spending without actually cutting anything:

"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said the Pentagon could not account for $2.3 trillion in past spending. One recent Department of Defense internal auditor's report said $1.1 trillion in expenses were "unsupported or improper."

The Worst Training Video Ever!

Make sure you watch the part where the lady is using slang like "hizzouse" and "heazy" dawg!

The Franklin Quote that No One Could Remember

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is a tough decision...

Religion of Hypocrisy

Somehow, for a brief moment, the Pope had the guts to declare that Islam is not really a religion of peace. He has since backed down from those comments since, as we all know, Christ never offended anyone.

The firestorm after his comments though proved one thing: We would all be better off if the religion of Islam never existed. A few excerpts from newswires:

"Five churches attacked in Palestinian areas following Pope's comments on Islam ALI DARAGHMEH NABLUS, West Bank (AP)
- Palestinians wielding guns and firebombs attacked five churches in the West Bank and Gaza on Saturday, following remarks by Pope Benedict that angered many Muslims. No injuries were reported in the attacks, which left church doors charred and walls pockmarked with bullet holes and scorched by firebombs. Churches of various denominations were targeted."

"Somali cleric calls for pope's death

September 17, 2006

A HARDLINE cleric linked to Somalia's powerful Islamist movement has called for Muslims to "hunt down" and kill Pope Benedict XVI for his controversial comments about Islam."

And nothing screams peaceful religion like shooting a nun in the back!!

Yep, nothing like proving that your religion is non-violent than by firebombing a few churches and calling for an assasination, enjoy your 72 raisins.

Old-Fashioned

Old-fashioned way of playing, leads to old-fashioned winning. For the last few years it seemed like winnig football games was out of style in San Fransisco. The offense was inept, the defense was pathetic, and the special teams was actually mediocre. Last year I gushed about how excited I was to have Mike Nolan as the new head coach of the 49ers. I knew that the season would probably be pretty bad, but he had a plan, and you can see the results this year so far.

The 49ers are 1 - 1, with a 7 point loss to the Cardinals in which they lost the turnover battle 2-1. Yesterday they beat the Rams into submission, giving the ball to Frank Gore 30 times.

Frank Gore - My new Favorite Running Back

He was the backup to that bust Kevan Barlow, who had loads of talents but no work ethic. Last year Gore outrushed Barlow despite playing less and having 2 injured shoulders. Mike Nolan traded Barlow to the Jets and made Gore the starter.

Two games in, Barlow has 77 rushing yards and 1 TD compared to Gore's 214 rushing yards and 3 TDs. Not to mention a sparkling 4.8 yards per rush average. Gore is currently 4th in the NFL in rushing yards.

Alex Smith, after a pathetic first season, has blossomed into an actual quarterback. Quick comparison, and please note the lack of interceptions thrown:

Year	Team	G	GS	Att	Comp	Pct	Yds	YPA	Lg	TD	Int	Tkld	20+	40+	Rate
2005	San Francisco 49ers	9	7	165	84	50.9	875	5.30	47	1	11	29/185	13	2	40.8
2006	San Francisco 49ers	2	2	62	34	54.8	521	8.40	72	2	0	1/2	8	3	93.5

Ok, I'm done gushing over the fact that the 49ers look good. I might actually have a serious post coming up soon!

Feeling Down?

Are you feeling poorly about yourself? Are you feeling blue? Ever wanted to curl up in bed and wait until next week to come out again?

Maybe you are having problems at work, maybe your spouse thinks of you lower than dirt. Do your kids hate you? Maybe your ex-significant other just broke your heart.

Bad memories stuck in your head? Can't shake the time you made a fool of yourself in front of that cute girl/guy/other? Or when you said spiteful words and never had a chance to take them back?

Well, it doesn't matter what the reason for you feeling blue, I'm here to cheer you up with a simple phrase. I guarantee you will be feeling better soon:



Feel better?

*Actually, I was feeling fine before you brought back some supressed memories from my childhood.*