This is your intrepid reporter, Fritz T. Grand, reporting live from the National Drag Racing Championship, The Senior Circuit! We are down to the last two finalists! The races today have been filled with excitement as the Cadillacs have raced each other at speeds in excess of 40 miles per hour! Swapping paint as they back into each other! And forcing each other off the track as they shift lanes without looking to see if anyone else is there! Oh the drama!
The two finalists are ready, they are sitting at the red light, about 30 yards from it to be exact, the light changes to green, the tension grows as neither car moves! The seconds drag past as neither car moves an inch! The light has been green for what seem hours yet neither moves!
Finally they notice that the light has changed! They’re off! The engines roar as they pass the five mile per hour mark……ten miles per hour……………fifteen………..they are cruising at a speed of almost twenty miles per hour! Oh the acceleration! Only four minutes have past and they are racing at almost twenty-five miles an hour!
What is this? For no reason the car in the right lane is drifting to the left! Does he not see the lines on the ground? There is a crunching sound as the cars jolt into each other! Amazingly enough, neither driver seems to notice! They cross the finish line neck and neck!
Oh the excitement!
This has been another exciting race! I am so glad to have been able to share the thrills of the Drag Racing Championship, The Senior Circuit, with you! This is Fritz T. Grand signing off.
2 comments:
Thank you, Mr. Grand, I needed that laugh.
The reason why old people have such powerful engines in their cars: so that they can accelerate from 20 MPH to 35 MPH while going up very steep inclines.
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